


Party At the CIA

by Chimata



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Silly-ness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-09-01 11:25:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8622793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chimata/pseuds/Chimata
Summary: A silly interaction between Coulson and Stark. That's it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> The first time I heard the Weird Al song, "Party at the CIA," I thought of Coulson and how this was totally his song. In a silly way. Of course, listing to the song today while trying to get myself writing on my main project this little drabble popped out instead. Figures. Fans of my other work, sorry. I will totally get the new chapter up soon.

“Stark.”

“Who is this? JARVIS, who is this mysterious caller disturbing me at. . .”

“It is 3 pm, Sir.”

“Are you sure? 3pm? It feels more like a late evening situation to me. I’m kinda hungry too. Are you sure about the whole three o'clock thing.”

“Stark, focus.”

“Probably due to Sir not sleeping for 74 hours and not eating for 81 hours.”

“Huh. Okay.” 

Phil rubs his temple; it was always a hit or miss when dealing with Stark. “Stark, would you please focus on me.”

“Yes, of course, Not-Director Director. Are you asking if you could work an eyepatch because I don’t think you could pull that off.”

“It is about my phone, Stark.”

“Your phone? Last I checked you had a piece of trash phone that we all agreed never to speak of. Or mention. Or look at.” The genius peers into the camera, eyes shifting from side to side before ignoring Coulson entirely to return to whatever project caught his interest for the moment. “You're not using it to communicate with me, are you? JARVIS?”

“No Stark. It’s a SHIELD main line.”

The other man snorts, waving his hand focus slipping and soon the man wouldn’t even be aware that Coulson was even trying to communicate with the genius. “Stark fix my ringtone.”

This gets Stark’s attention back. “Why? It’s your theme Agent. A theme so perfect I would think you would thank the Universe for creating its awesomeness for you.” He pauses then smiles. “Well ideally, it would be SHIELD instead of CIA, but SHIELD is a mouthful.”

“It is annoying. And I prefer my own ringtone.”

“Yes, yes. A boring ringtone with no fun or color. Just to fit the whole-” Another wave at the camera to sum up Coulson’s persona. “-meh thing. But Fun is so much better. Ultimately, the whole thing makes me giggle.” Phil would bang his head against the table if he didn’t think Stark would get some sadist joy from the whole thing. “If it bothers you, ask the bird or the spider to change the ringtone for you.” If that were an option, Phil would have done it already, but Stark’s childish sense of superiority is much preferable to the patronizing he’d receive from the Assassin Twins. Stark actually starts giggling, “You just called them the Assassin Twins in your head didn’t you?” The man-child is even bouncing in his seat a little.

“How do you always? Never mind. Change it.”

“Nope.”

“Please.”

“Party at the CIA is your theme Coulson, and I bestowed it upon your person from the beautifulness of my heart.”  
“What do you want Stark? What can I give you to make all of this go away?” Coulson leans forward, eyes serious waiting for a response but Stark just grins with too many teeth. Shit.

“Pepper is mad at me. Fix it.” The statement is punctuated with an imperious twirl of his hand. Now somewhere in the depth of his mind, there is a list. A list filled with multiple dangerous and scary things, each one more traumatic than the next. Phil would prefer to experience each item on this list than having to deal with an enraged Pepper. And Pepper would be furious if the matter was small Stark would not be so candid about the whole situation. So outraged Pepper or the annoying ringtone? Pepper or ringtone? 

“What did you do?” Pepper at least was good company.

The billionaire scoffs. “I how could you think that I am at fault? You wound me Director Agent. A wound I shan't recover from, my heart bleeds truly and deeply Agent. Deeply!” His sticks a finger straight in the air with the other hand pressed against his chest. 

“JARVIS?”

“Rude!”

“Sir had another one of his engineering trances which resulted in a particular invention that caused a great deal of chaos.”

“And what was this invention?”

“Mood ring paper.”

“Mood ring?”

“Sir means he created a form of fibers that can interact with human neuro-waves to project different images.” This mood paper sounds a lot like the 084 that the team discovered a couple of days ago.

“Got it, mood paper.”

“Yep.”

“Okay Stark, I’ll go talk to Pepper for you.”

“Really? I mean of course, off with you.”

“The ringtone?”

“JARVIS will turn it off once the Pepper situation has been resolved.”

“JARVIS?”

“Yeah, it was all his idea.” The man smirks, his little shit of an AI is probably smirking too, and ends the call. Damn Starks.


End file.
